Ozzy Jokes

How does Ozzy Osbourne change a light bulb?
Well, first he bites the head off the old one...

I am sure most people have heard of or watched the popular show the Ozbournes and still more people have Heard Ozzy sing.
My question is how can Ozzy sing if he can't talk???

Jack Osbourne said his dad Ozzy is not an idiot. But he did admit that Kelly had to get those genes from somebody.

Some people think that Ozzy Osbourne's best period was the early 80s. I think Ozzy's best period was when he could still talk.

Pommy falla, Ozzy falla, and Maori falla, all ex SAS. Drinking at local RSL, straight whiskeys from a schooner. Six hours later the three of them disappear for a piss and return without anyone noticing. One hour later the pom leans over and whispers to his mates "you know us English are the elite of all SAS regiments" Ozzy falla whispers back 'bugger off mate its us ozzies " Maori falla while taking another drink " Oh, eh!"
Pommy falla " I'll prove it then watch' Pommy falla goes up to the bar and chats to the barman comes back and sits down.
The barman arrives a coupla minutes later with a large towel, face cloth, and large kitchen knife. He spreads the large towel over the table, hands the face cloth to the Ozzy and gives the knife to the Pom
The pom puts his hand on the towel raises the knife and bang cuts off his little finger. "Thats how tough our English SAS are he whispers" The Ozzy wipes the poms cut finger with the face more...