Pack Jokes / Recent Jokes

Facts About Women
Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.
Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when
there's a spider or a wasp involved.
Women can't keep more...

Two mexicans walk into a drug store (walgreens) and they are passing by the condoms section and one asked the other what this 6 pack of condoms was for and he says,"thats for us Mexicans" one for monday, one for tuesday, one for wednesday, one for thursday, one for friday, one for saturday, and never on sunday. He does the sign of the cross.Then there walking along again and then he sees an 8 pack and he asks him what that was for and he says thats for the black people " one for monday, one for tuesday, one for wednesday, one for thursday, one for friday, one for saturday, and twice on sunday.Then they walk along again and one mexican sees a 12 and aked what that was for and the mexican says thats for the white people one for january, one for february, one for march...

A woman rushed home from work and exclaimed to her husband, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!" The husband excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" She says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!"

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None. Let the wife cook in the dark.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
Why do men like air-headed women? Opposites attract.
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie?
Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them!
How do you blind a woman? Put a windshield in front of her face.
How many men does it take to mop a floor? None. It's a woman's more...

I Didn't Even Know
Three drunks were sitting at a bar.

The first one said... "I went in my daughter's room, looked in the drawer and found a pack of cigarettes."
He paused. "I didn't even know she smoked!"
The second drunk said... "I can beat that! I went into my daughters room, looked in the closet and found a case of beer. I didn't even know she drank!"
The first two looked at the third as he begin to speak..
"I can beat that! I went into my daughter's room and looked under her pillow. I found a pack of condoms!!!"
He paused... "I didn't even know she had a penis!!!"

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None. Let the wife cook in the dark.A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things! I just won the California lottery!" Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.Why do men like air-headed women? Opposites attract.If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie? Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them! How do you blind a woman? Put a windshield in front of her face.How many men does it take to mop a floor? None. It's a woman's job.A man is incomplete until he is married. After more...

A guy walks into a gas station and buys a pack of cigarrettes. He pulls one out and starts smoking it. The cashier says, "Excuse me sir, but you can't smoke in here." The guy says, "Don't you think it's kinda dumb that i buy them here but can't smoke them here?" And the cashier replies, "Not at all... we also sell condoms here."