Packed Jokes / Recent Jokes
New Career
Moishe came home from work one day to find his wife, Yvonne, sitting on the front door step with her bags packed. Moishe asked her where she was going, and Yvonne replied, "I`m going to Las Vegas."
Moishe questioned her as to why she was going, and Yvonne told him "I just found out that I can make £1,000 a night doing what I give you for free." Moishe pondered that for a while, went into the house, packed his bags and returned to the front door and his wife.
Yvonne said, "And just where do you think you are going?"
Moishe replied, "I`m going, too."
"Why?" She asked.
Moishe said, "I want to see how you are going to live on £1,000 a year."
The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in thesentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering herhusband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee.The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for himtrying to make his client appear more sympathetic to theJudge, especially since she had been so "matter-of-fact"about the whole thing all during the trial."Mrs. Roth," he began, "was there any point that morningwhere you felt pity for your husband ?""Well... yeah... I guess..." she replied."And when was that?" pressed the attorney."Well...," she replied, "when he asked for his third cup."
While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not. I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?"The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."
A husband arrived home to find his wife heading out the door with her bags packed.
"Where the heck are you going?" asked the surprised husband.
"I'm moving to Las Vegas," she replied. "I hear I can make $400 a night there doing what I give you for free."
The husband thought about this for a moment, ran upstairs, and came back down with his bags packed too.
"Just where the hell do you think you're going?" asked the wife.
"I'm going with you," he replied. "I'm dying to see how you're going to live on $800 a year!"
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he demands. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"
The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people wereforced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the manbehind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!""I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay checkin my pocket." "Oh really" she spat." then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour."
Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, Watch out for worms wont you! The first one replied, why should I? They can watch out for themselves.