Paddock Jokes

A blonde lived on a farm. He didn't get many visitors, so I went to see him...when I got there, he was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled out to him, and asked what he was doing standing out there all still and straight. He replied that he was trying to win a Nobel Peace prize.
I said, "Well, that's great, but what are you doing in the paddock?"
He replied, "I was reading the newspaper, and it said all you had to do to win the Nobel Peace prize was to be outstanding in your field."

There was a long drought in Central Africa. The witch doctor had tried all his rainmaking dances, imprecations, but to no avail.

One of the elders observed that rain was never a problem in England, so why not send the witch doctor to London to learn the secret.

Off he went to England, learned the secret, and returned to the tribe.

He informed the leaders that these crazy white men had a big paddock of grass enclosed by a white picket fence.

In the middle were two lots of sticks driven into the ground. Two men, each with a club, stood next to these sticks and waited for a lot of other men to spread themselves all over the paddock. Then two more men, wearing black trousers, four sweaters and six hats, came out to keep a close watch on the men with the clubs. Then one man got a red rock and threw it at one of the fellers with a club. AND DOWN CAME THE RAIN!

There were two cows in a paddock, enjoying the sun and eating some grass. The first cow said "Moo." And the second cow said "That's funny, I was just about to say that."

There were two cows in a paddock, enjoying the sun and eating some grass. The first cow said "Moo."And the second cow said "That's funny, I was just about to say that."

Q. What do you call a cow eating grass in a paddock? A. A lawn mooer