Nobel Jokes

By a vote of 5 to 4, the Supreme Court today rescinded Vice President Al Gore's Nobel Peace Prize and awarded it to President Bush instead.

Writing for the majority, Chief Justice Roberts stated that "President George W. Bush has done more than any person in the world to demonstrate what an elusive prize peace is."

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, "Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?"

The farmer replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."

"How?" asks the man, puzzled.

"Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field."

A blonde lived on a farm. He didn't get many visitors, so I went to see him...when I got there, he was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled out to him, and asked what he was doing standing out there all still and straight. He replied that he was trying to win a Nobel Peace prize.
I said, "Well, that's great, but what are you doing in the paddock?"
He replied, "I was reading the newspaper, and it said all you had to do to win the Nobel Peace prize was to be outstanding in your field."

In a speech to hundreds of schoolchildren, Nobel Peace Prize winner, Betty Williams said, "I would love to kill George Bush." One child responded, "If you love it so much, why don't you marry it."

Rudnicki's Nobel Prize Principle: Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it.