Pads Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads? A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno! Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.Q: How do blondes pierce their ears? A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
My brother-in-law just recently became a dentist and was issued his
DEA number, which allowed him to get prescription pads. A friend of his,
also a new dentist, had the misfortune of losing one of his pads. After
reporting the pad missing, he received a call from a pharmacist, who
believed he had found someone using the missing pad. When asked what had
raised his suspicions, the pharmacist replied that someone had just tried
to get a prescription filled for "Mofine, 1 pound."
There was sudden increase of demand for the Kotex pads in the Anuradapura district and the sales manager of the company in Colombo was unable to explain why there is a sudden demand even higher than in Colombo City and suburbs. So, he asked a team to go to Anuradapura to investigate it.
The team arrived in a rural area and inquired from a small shop where there was a large stock of pads for sale. Before they could ask a single question several people came and bought kotex pads.
Every one of them asked the shop keeper to give a "Mukkawadam" and shop keeper obliged with a Kotex pad.
The shop keeper finally explained the secrete of demand for pads. He said our farmers in Anuradapura use the pads for providing protection against breathing fumes of poison when they spray pestisides on the crops, using Kotex pads as MUKKAWADAM which has become very popular than for its intended use.
A blonde gets her first period, so she goes to the drugstore to get some pads. The wide selection and huge variety confuse her, so she asks the clerk for some help. "What kind of pads should I get?" she says. "This is all new to me." "Well," says the clerk, "that depends on the flow." She says, "It's ceramic tile."
To commemorate her 69th birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was' My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie' Sound Of Music'. Here are the lyrics she used:
(Sing It!)-
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating more...
A Slide Rule doesn't shut down abruptly when it gets too hot.
One hundred people all using Slide Rules and Paper Pads do not start wailing and screaming due to a single-point failure.
A Slide Rule doesn't smoke whenever the power supply hiccups.
A Slide Rule doesn't care if you smoke, or hiccup.
You can spill coffee on a Slide Rule; you can use a Slide Rule while completely submerged in coffee.
You never get nasty system messages about filling up your entire paper quota with pointless GIF pictures for the root window.
A Slide Rule and Paper Pad fit in a briefcase with space left over for lunch or a change of underwear.
A properly used Slide Rule can perform pipelined *and* parallel operations. (Okay, you need a guru for this.)
You don't get junk mail offering pricey software upgrades that fix current floating point errors while introducing new ones.
A Slide Rule doesn't need scheduled hardware maintenance.
A Paper Pad supports text and graphics more...