Painted Jokes / Recent Jokes

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP! "In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling' green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

A pissed-off cowboy walked into the bar and slammed his fist on the bar.
"Ok," he shouted, "Who's the son of a bitch that painted my horse's balls red?"
At the other end, a huge biker stood up, ripped the end of the bar out of the floor and slammed it back down.
He said, "I did asshole. What have you got to say about that?"
"Oh," said the cowboy. "I just thought I'd let you know... he's ready for his second coat."

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling' green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "but I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

Lempi took a job with Odovero Construction to paint lines on M28. The first day he painted ten miles. The boss was very impressed.
The second day he painted two miles. The boss was a little disappointed. The third day he only painted 500 feet.
The boss sat him down and said," Lempi, how come you paint ten miles the first day, two miles the next day, but only 500 feet today?".
Lempi replied, "Well boss, each day I get farther and farther away from the paint can".

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “GREEN SIDE UP! “In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP! ” The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “GREEN SIDE UP! ” The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’? ”
“I’m sorry, ” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street. ”

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply."But I have a crew of engineers laying sod across the street.

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?""I'm sorry," came the reply."But I have a crew of engineers laying sod across the street.