Painted Jokes / Recent Jokes

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In thefirst room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!".In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!".The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!".The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"."I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.
In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP! "In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP! "In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?""I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street."

Little Johnny was spending the weekend with his grandmother who decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything looked beautiful.
"Doesn't it look like an artist painted this gorgeous scenery?" commented his grandmother. "Johnny, did you know that God painted this especially for you?"
"Yes," Johnny said, "God did it and He did it left handed."
Confused, his grandmother asked, "What makes you say God did this with His left hand?"
"Well, last week our Sunday school teacher told us that Jesus sits on God's right hand!" Johnny explained.

Little Bobby was spending the weekend with his grandmother after a particularly trying
week in kindergarten. His grandmother decided to take him to the park on Saturday morning. It had been snowing all night and everything was beautiful. His grandmother remarked, “Doesn't it look like an artist painted this scenery? Did you know God painted this just for you?”Bobby said, “Yes, God did it and he did it left handed.”This confused his grandmother a bit, and she asked him, “What makes you say God did
this with his left hand?”“Well,” said Bobby, “we learned at Sunday School last week that Jesus sits on God's
right hand!”

Ahhh -- the good ole days when Ronnie was in office:

Presidential Aide - Mr. Reagan!. Mr Reagan Sir!!! The Russians have just landed on the Moon! And they've started to paint it red! What shall we do?

Ronnie - Come back when they've finished, son.

P.A. [later] - Mr. Reagan Sir. The Russians have painted a quarter of the moon red!

Ronnie - Don't worry about it, son. Tell me when they've finished.

P.A. [still later] - Mr. Reagan Sir. The Russians have now painted half the moon red! Aren't you going to do anything?

Ronnie - Nope, not yet.

P.A. [still later and even more anxious] - Mr. Reagan Sir. The Russians have now painted THREE-QUARTERS of the moon red! Can we bomb them, Sir? Please, Sir?

Ronnie - [ as before ]

P.A. - Mr Reagan. They've painted the WHOLE moon red!

Ronnie - OK. Now call NASA, and tell them to get a rocket up there, with plenty of white paint, and paint' more...

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.

The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "green side up!"

In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.

He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "green side up!"

The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing.

In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.

The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "green side up!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling' green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.