Pair Jokes / Recent Jokes

A wife arriving home after a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about.Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.Then as she was about to leave the house, she had paused and asked, "Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?"

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.
Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth."
The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.
The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.
The man then said, "I have another pair...try these."
The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."
The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more paid of false teeth...try them."
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him.
"I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking more...

A wife arriving home from a shopping trip was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. While I was driving along the highway, I saw this young girl here, looking tired and bedraggled, so I brought her home and made her a meal from the roast beef you had forgotten in the refrigerator. She had only some worn-out sandals on her feet, so I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded because they had gone out of style. She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I bought you for your birthday that you never wore because the colors didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good but too small for you now.
Then, as the young girl was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, "Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?"

On Christmas Eve Santa Claus was getting ready for his annual trip.

As he pulled his favorite pair of red pants on, they ripped. So, he had to take them off and put on another pair, which was a bit too tight. He then went to check on the rest of the preparations.

The elves were on strike. The reindeer had shin-splints. At this point, Santa was BUMMED.

He went into the kitchen to take a calming drink, and the bottle was EMPTY. Now he was really mad. All of sudden, there was a knock at the door.

Santa, in his angry state, ignored it. There was another knock. Santa was in no mood for all of this. When the knock came again, Santa --filled with rage-- threw open the door.

Standing there was a little angel who said, "Hi Santa! What do you want me to do with this Christmas Tree?" Hence... the story of the Angel atop the tree.

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth...try them."The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."The man replied, more...

A wife arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house her husband stopped her with these words:
"Before you leave, I want you to hear how all this came about.
Driving along the highway, I saw this young girl looking tired and bedraggled, so I offered her a lift.
She was hungry, so I brought her home and made a meal from the roast you had forgotten in the refrigerator.
She had only some worn sandals, so I gave her a pair of good shoes you discarded because they were out of style.
She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I bought you for your birthday - the one you never wore because the colours didn't suit you.
Her slacks were worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that were perfectly good, but too small for you now.
Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked: 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore??'
So more...

TV Shop: Shanavas went to the Calicut Radio Service outlet. He saw an interesting looking TV on the window. He went inside and asked a salesperson what the price of the TV was. The shop keeper replied immediately "Are you not Shanavas from Calicut? Sorry!!". Shanavas was disappointed. He went and changed into a kurtha paijama, got a fake moustache and came back to the shop and asked for the same TV. The shop keeper again said "Sorry, we can't help you!". Shanavas went to the barber, got his head shaved, put on an expensive pair of jeans and a pair of gloves, and bought borrowed an expensive bike from his friend and headed to the store. Again the reply was the same! He was so mad, he caught the salesperson on the shirt collar and shouted "Why won't you give me that damn TV?!". The salesperson said "Sorry sir, we cannot give you that TV because it's not a TV. It's a microwave oven!