Panties Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?""No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?""It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains."Oh really? What's it telling you now?" she inquires."Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"And the man starts tapping on the watch face and says,"Damn thing must be an hour fast!"

There's this couple and they've been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she won't sleep with him because she's saving herself for marriage. As they were kissing, and doing their thing, he's very hot and bothered, and he said, "Oh come on, just a feel."
She said, "No, I'm saving myself for marriage."
They went back and forth. He said, "Just one feel, I promise, that's all, just one feel."
She finally agreed, "Okay, just one feel, but that's all, just one, I'm saving myself for marriage."
So he puts his hand down her panties and takes a little feel. Things are getting a lot warmer and he asks, "Can't we please?"
She of course states, "NO, I'm saving myself for marriage."
He says, "Please, please?" and she says, "No, absolutely not, I'm saving myself for marriage."
He says, "How about if I agree to only just put the tip in?"
She says, "No more...

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was testing it."
Intrigued, the woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?", she asks.
"Well, it says that you're not wearing any panties...".
The woman giggles & replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
The man exclaims, "Damn- this thing must be an hour fast

There's this couple and they've been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she won't sleep with him because she's saving herself for marriage. As they were kissing, and doing their thing, he's very hot and bothered, and he said, "Oh come on, just a feel."She said, "No, I'm saving myself for marriage."They went back and forth. He said, "Just one feel, I promise, that's all, just one feel."She finally agreed, "Okay, just one feel, but that's all, just one, I'm saving myself for marriage."So he puts his hand down her panties and takes a little feel. Things are getting a lot warmer and he asks, "Can't we please?"She of course states, "NO, I'm saving myself for marriage."He says, "Please, please?" and she says, "No, absolutely not, I'm saving myself for marriage."He says, "How about if I agree to only just put the tip in?"She says, "No way, I'm saving myself for more...

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that meant. One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she undresses as he does. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?"She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning," He knows he's not getting lucky that night. The following night the same scenario. She standing there with the black more...

Marie was widowed five years ago and still hadn't gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were yesterday. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Marie agreed to go out, but said she didn't know anyone.
"That's not a problem, Mom," her daughter said. "I have someone for you to meet."
Her daughter introduced her to Max and they took to one another immediately. After dating for a few weeks, Marie agreed to join Max for a weekend in Cape Cod.
On their first night there, they both undressed. There stood Marie, naked except for a pair of black lace panties, while Max was in his birthday suit. Curious, he asked her, "Why the black panties?"
"My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning," Marie replied. Max knew right away that he wasn't getting lucky that night.
The following night, it was the same scenario. Marie was more...

A man was approached by co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work. The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem: "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys." So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told he he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the toliet. "How more...