Panties Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady is looking to spice up her marraige, so she buys a pair of crotchless panties. She puts them on and waits on the bed for her husband to come home. Her husband walks into the room, and she says "Hey baby want some of this?" He says hell no, look what it did to your panties!

A rather confident man enters a bar and sits next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
Noticing this, the woman asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," the man replies. "I just purchased this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
Intrigued by his comment, the woman inquires, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"Really? What's it telling you now?" she asks.
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties," he replies.
Giggling, she says, "Well, it must be broken then because I am definitely wearing panties."
"Damn thing must be an hour fast," he replies, tapping on the watch face.

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"Oh really? What's it telling you now?" she inquires.
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"
And the man starts tapping on the watch face and says,
"Damn thing must be an hour fast!"

The horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Clean Sheets
3. Bare Belly
4. Thighs
5. Silk Panties
6. Big Johnson
7. Conscience
8. Heavy Bosom
9. Jockey Shorts
10. Merry Cherry
At the post: Aaaaaand they're off !!! Conscience is left behind at
the post. Jockey Shorts and Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is
being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big
Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the halfway mark: It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and
Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against
Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At the stretch: Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is
making the final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.
At the finish: It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got !!!...and
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson more...

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains. "What's it telling you now?" she asked. "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." he said. The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!" The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."

The horses in the race...
Passionate Lady
Clean Sheets
Bare Belly
Thighs
Silk Panties
Big Johnson
Conscience
Heavy Bosom
Jockey Shorts
Merry Cherry
At the Post...
They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the Halfway Mark...
It's Bare Belly on top.
Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At the Stretch...
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive.
Passionate Lady is coming.
At the Finish...
It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer.
It more...

A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No," he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.
"What's it telling you now?" she asked.
"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." he said.
The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then because I am wearing panties!"
The man explains, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."