Park Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were two blondes at the park.
One says, "Look at that dead seagull over there."
And the other looks up and says, "Where?"

Choose your favourite rude one!
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
Support Cannibalism - EAT ME!
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.
I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.
Keep honking while I reload.
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot either!
Who were the beta testers for Preparations A through G?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.
Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
Just say no! to sex with pro-lifers.
My wife more...

What is Michael Jackson's favorite Theme Park?
Whichever one has the most kids that day.

Two Back Tires-
One day two families were at a nude beach the youngest boy and the youngest girl meet in the woods.
The boy askes the little girl "Whats that?" the little girl says "I don't know i'll go ask my mom."
so she goes and askes her mom and her mom says "thats your garage don't let anybody park there car in there."
so the litle girl goes back and tells the boy and she askes him "whats that?" the little boy says "I don't know i'll go ask my dad"
His dad says "Thats your car you can park it in any garage you want." so the little boy goes back and tells the girl.
Fifteen mins. later the girl comes up to her mom with blood on her hands her mom says "what happen?" the little girl looks at her and says
"Some boy tried to park his car in my garage so i tore off his TWO BACK TIRES."

Once, a man at an amusement park had to use the bathroom so bad that he couldn't wait for the long line to the men's room. He asked if he could use the girl's bathroom quickly since it wasn't occupied. A female worker said that he could use it only if he did it quickly and didn't push any of the 3 buttons in the bathroom. The man went in and enjoyed a piss, hurried and washed his hands, but became curious of what the letters above the 3 buttons meant. He pushed and found out by pushing the first button labeled "WW" that it meant warm water. He enjoyed the warm water on his genital so he pushed the second button that said "BP". Baby powder blew out of a hole and powdered his below. Then, there was one more button that said "ATR". The man thought that the first two were nice, so he pushed the button. This one hurt so bad that he passed out. When he woke up in hospital, he noticed that his Willie was missing. The lady that worked at the amusement park more...

More than thirty years ago when I first moved to Memphis TN in the United States, I traveled over to the state of Arkansas in search of an antique automobile museum which I was told was located in a public park named Petit Jean State Park.
I stopped at a rural grocery store to ask directions and, pronouncing the place name in my very best Louisiana Cajun French, asked for directions to Petit Jean.
The proprietor told me that he had never heard of any such place. I then explained that it was the location of an antique automobile museum to which he exclaimed, "Oh, you mean PETTY GENE!" and proceeded to give me explicit directions.

Boys
1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip
Girls
1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. Cancel
18. Re-enter code
19. Cancel
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code
21. Enter desired amount
22. Error
23. Enter bigger amount
24. Error
25. Enter maximum amount
26. Cross fingers
27. Take more...