Park Jokes / Recent Jokes
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
It is illegal for a woman wearing a red dress to be out on the streets after 7 PM.Colorado law requires that wine be sold in containers of at least 24 ounces and spirits in containers at least a fifth of a gallon. But, at the same time, it also decrees that no alcohol beverage can be stored in hotel minibars in anything larger than miniature containers. Colorado Springs: It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. Crippe Creek: It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building. Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.Denver: It is unlawful to lend your more...
One Sunday afternoon, shortly after they had moved to Texas, an English professor and his son decided to take a walk through the park. During their walk, the boy saw two cowboys go by.
"Hey, Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!" the son yelled.
The father was shocked by this and told his son that that wasn't very nice language to use.
A few minutes later, two more cowboys walked by and again the boy shouted, "Hey, Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!"
Now, quite upset, the father turned to his son and said, "I told you not to say that. I don't ever want to hear it again!"
A few more minutes passed and two more cowboys walked by. Again, the boy yelled, "Hey, Dad, look at those bow-legged bastards!"
"That's it!" the father yelled. He took his son home and sent him to his room with the complete works of Shakespeare.
Two weeks later, the father allowed his son to come out of his room and noticed that the more...
While taking a walk through the park, a woman sat down on a park bench. Glancing around and seeing no one in sight, she decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax.
A short time later, a dirty old beggar approached her and said, "Mornin' Sunshine, how's about we go for a little walk together?"
"How dare you!" the woman exclaimed. "What do you take me for, some kind of cheap pick-up?"
"Well then," said the beggar, "what are you doing in my bed?"
Two young boys were playing football in a park in Washington D, C, one pretty day, and as they were playing a huge Rottwieller came from no where and attacked one of the boys.
The other boy, seeing his best friend was in serious trouble, pried a board loose from a nearby bench and went to help his buddy. He took the board and put it under the collar of the dog, pried up and twisted it, breaking the dogs neck, killing him instantly.
A local newspaper reporter saw what happened and went over to interview the hero. He asked the boy if he was a football fan and was told yes, so he wrote "Redskins fan saves friend from savage dog".
The boy said, " Sorry sir, but I'm not a Redskins fan." The reporter then asked him if he was a Baltimore Ravens fan; again the boy said no.
So the reporter asked him who his favorite team was, the boy said "I really like the Dallas Cowboys sir." So the reporter wrote, " Redneck kills family pet."
A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.
There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.
The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park,
"What's that" says the Texan
"Oh! That's Queens Park" says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government" Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big".
Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large" says the Texan.
They continue along and past First Canadian Place.
"Holy cow" says the Texan "What's that"?
"Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country" says the Cabby " it took almost 4 years to build".
"Really" says the Texan "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the time"
They continue on the way, the cabby a little more...
In Baldwin Park, California nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.(Dumb Laws - California)
A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park,"What's that" says the Texan"Oh! That's Queens Park" says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government" Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big".Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large" says the Texan.They continue along and past First Canadian Place."Holy cow" says the Texan "What's that"?"Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country" says the Cabby " it took almost 4 years to build"."Really" says the Texan "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the time"They continue on the way, the cabby a little miffed at the bragging, when they drive past the CN more...