Pass Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter asks him what religion he belongs to. The man tells him and Saint Peter says "oh, we have a lot of your kind here. In fact, we have a special room for all of you so you can all be together!"He leads the man down a long hallway with doors on either side. They pass one door and they hear a bunch of yelling and hollering inside. "Who's in that room?" the man asks. "Oh, those are the holy rollers," says Saint Peter. "They make a lot of noise but they're pretty harmless". They pass by another door which is nearly shaking off its hinges. "Who's in there?" the man asks. "That's the room for the Shakers" replies Saint Peter. Then they approach another door. Saint Peter whispers to the man, "we must be very quiet going past this door. Don't make a sound." They tiptoe past the door and when they get farther down the hallway the man asks Saint Peter who was in that room." Oh, more...

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?"
The man says, "Methodist."
St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"
"Baptist."
"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"
"Jewish."
"Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"
St. Peter tells him, "Well the Jehovah`s Witnesses are in room 8, and they think they`re the only ones here.

Bill Clinton decided to teach' Laloo English, so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives
in full grandeur. Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the
tution inside the White house, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo
English. Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out.
The whole country and its economy has come to a standstill, and press, news reporters from all
over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome. At last one day, the door opens,
and out comes Laloo -beaming his resplendant white smile, looking cool and unruffled. However,
Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has
scratch marks all over his face.

Theshocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. Clinton? "
Bill replies: "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai! "

Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table.
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

A woman who is pregnant with triplets is standing in line at the bank. Suddenly, the bank gets robbed and she gets shot three times in the stomach.
She's rushed to hospital and although the doctor is unable to perform surgery because of her condition, he assures her that all will be fine. "The babies are all fine, but each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. There's no need to worry though. The bullets will safely pass through their systems eventually."
Four months pass and she gives birth to two girls and a boy. Fourteen years later, one of the girls comes into the kitchen crying. "Mommy, I've done a very weird thing! I was going to the bathroom and I passed a bullet."
The mother comforts her daughter and explains all about what happened at the bank.
A couple of weeks later, the other daughter comes running up to her mother with tears streaming down her face. "Mommy, I've done a very bad thing!"
"I know what happened," more...

Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Poncho, decide to go on a picnic. So, Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled sodas, and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is, 10 miles away, so the turtles take 10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive, everyone's whipped. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket, one by one. He takes out the sodas and says,'Alright, Steve, gimme the bottle opener.

"I didn't bring the bottle opener,' Steve says.' I thought you packed it.' Joe gets worried.

He turns to Poncho.' Poncho, do you have the bottle opener?'

Naturally, Poncho doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck ten miles away from home without soda. Joe & Steve beg Poncho to turn back home and retrieve it, but Poncho flatly refuses, knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back. Somehow, after about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Poncho to go, swearing on their great-grand turtles' graves that they won't touch more...

13. Psychotic Mood Shift12. Pack My Stuff11. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome 10. Perpetual Munching Spree 9. Puffy Mid-Section 8. People Make Me Sick 7. Provide Me with Sweets 6. Pardon My Sobbing 5. Pimples May Surface 4. Pass My Sweatpants 3. Pissy Mood Syndrome 2. Plainly Men Suck And The Number One Is: 1. Pass My Shotgun