Pass Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Clinton decided to' teach' Laloo English, so he invited him over to the US. Laloo arrives in full grandeur.
Bill announces to the nation that they should not be disturbed during the tuition. Inside the White House, they are locked up in a room, and Bill starts teaching Laloo English.
Days pass by and weeks pass by, but there is no sign of them coming out. The whole country and its economy have come to a standstill, and press, news reporters from all over the world are waiting outside eagerly to find the outcome.
At last one day, the door opens, and out comes Laloo - beaming his resplendent white smile, looking cool and unruffled.
However, Bill looks totally dazed, his clothes are torn, his hair is completely ruffled, and he has scratch marks all over his face.
The shocked reporters ask Bill, "What happened Mr. Clinton?"
Bill replies: "Ee babua hamar kuch bhi naahi sunat hai! "

TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:

14. Pass My Shotgun
13. Psychotic Mood Shift
12. Pack My Stuff
11. Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
10. Perpetual Munching Spree
9. Puffy Mid-Section
8. People Make Me Sick
7. Provide Me with Sweets
6. Pardon My Sobbing
5. Pimples May Surface
4. Pass My Sweatpants
3. Pissy Mood Syndrome
2. Plainly Men Suck
And the number one thing PMS Stands for........
Who Cares?
I'm not in the mood to play this shit anymore!!

Q: Why do men pass gas more than women?
A: Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear are sitting in the snow.
The son polar bear turns to his father and asks, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?"
The father polar bear replies, "Of course, son, you're 100% polar bear."
A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns to his father again and says, "Dad, please tell me the truth. I can take it. Am I really 100% polar bear. No grizzly bear, or brown bear or panda bear?"
The father polar bear replies, "Son, I'm 100% polar bear, your mother is 100% polar bear, so you are definitely 100% genuine polar bear."
A few more minutes pass, and the son polar bear again turns to his father and says, "Dad, don't think you're sparing my feelings if it isn't true. I really have to know... am I 100% polar bear?"
The father polar bear is distressed by this continued questioning and asks his son, "Why do you keep asking if you're 100% polar more...

The Israeli soldier had been in the army only a week, but already he was sick of the long hours and regimentation. He asked his superior officer for leave. The officer laughed and said he could have a weekend pass under one condition: He had to capture a Syrian tank.
Undaunted, the soldier left and an hour later returned with a spanking new Syrian tank.
Shocked, the commanding officer walked over as the soldier climbed from the hatch.
"I don't believe it!" he said, running his hand along the bazooka plate. "You must tell me how you did it."
"Simple," said the soldier. "I drove into the DMZ, saw a Syrian soldier, asked him if he wanted a weekend pass, and we swapped tanks."

A very happy couple, on the eve of their wedding day, is killed by two stray bullets in a robbery gone bad. At the pearly gates they approach St. Peter and ask, “Please,
sir, we were just about to be married, is there any way we can have the ceremony up
here?”“Well,” St. Peter replies, “It's never been done but I'll check into it.”Two hundred years pass and St. Peter calls up the couple and says, “Okay, you can get married now.”A couple of months pass and the happy couple isn’t so happy anymore.“Please, St. Peter,” the man complains, “my wife is driving me insane. If we weren't dead already I'd have to kill her.”“Okay, okay,” St. Peter replies, “I'll see what I can do.”A thousand years pass and St. Peter tracks down the bitterly feuding couple again to share the good news.“That's great sir,” the man exclaims, “but why did it take so long to get married and even longer to divorce?”“Well,” St. Peter replies, “it usually takes a more...

10. Say Christina Aguilera can whup her ass any day

9. Lay her for free (Sorry, that's something that'll automatically get you IN to a Britney Spears concert)

8. Try to pass yourself off as the opening act

7. Make fun of Justin Timberlake

6. Give her a wedgie

5. Pass around pictures of her when she was in the Mickey Mouse Club

4. Have legitimate proof that she got breast implants

3. Bust her lip-synching

2. Point out that her initials are BS

1. Wait a minute...why the hell would anyone want to go to a Britney Spears concert in the first place?