Pass Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny." Unlawful to Pass School Bus from Either Direction"I guess that some people misunderstood that, because now it reads:"Unlawful to Pass Stopped School Bus from Either Direction".

On AppearanceExcessive use of perfume makes a woman less desirable. Perfumes are manufactured from fragrances of herbs, flowers, and other substances that are put into some medium that is strong enough to hold the odor. That medium is often ambergris... a secretion from the intestines of the sperm whale. In other words, you and your man may smell the odor of whale puke instead of enjoying the fragrance of flowers or herbs. Cleanliness is especially important. If a woman uses enough soap and has that clean, fresh look that a recent shower gives, she could wear a potato sack and still be desirable for her male. T-shirts are great. It doesn't take much male imagination to know that in less than five seconds, they are off over your head. Food particles between the teeth, especially the front teeth, are highly undesirable. On DatingIf you need to pass gas (fart), excuse yourself from his presence. Try not to destroy illusions by unpleasant odors. If you need to pass gas, face him.. If you more...

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"

A student comes to a young professor`s office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "... I would do... anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"

Civil War Era Humor The following are supposedly true definitions, stories, and terms relating to the Civil War. BIGGEST MAN... The biggest man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see him and was astounded when the impish Van Buskirk claimed that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company, my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." LETTER HOME... A young soldier left home to join the army. He told his girl friend that he would write every day. After about six months, he received a letter from his girlfriend that she was marrying someone else. He wrote home to his family to find out who she more...

Boss:' Now on the way to Smith and Sons, you pass the cricket field, so...'
Office boy (hopefully):' Yes, sir?'
Boss:' So just pass it.'


Cricket short joke 2^

The two clubmen were talking.' So you had a hard time explaining the cricket game to your wife, eh?'

'I certainly did. She found out I wasn't there.'

Cricket short joke 3^

The two rival cricketers were talking.' The local team wants me to play for them very badly.'

'Well, you're just the man for the job.'



Cricket short joke 4^

Child:"Good bowling!"
Father: Be silent
Child:"Good owling!"

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter
at the pearly gates.
“In honor of this holy season, ” Saint Peter said, “you must
each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into
heaven. ”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a
lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle, ” he
said. “You may pass through the pearly gates, ” Saint Peter
said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set
of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells. ” Saint
Peter said, “You may pass through the pearly gates. ”
The third man started searching desperately through his
pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s glasses.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked,
“And just what do those symbolize? ”
The man replied, “They’re Carol’s. ”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Merry Christmas to more...