Pasture Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Pasture!
Pasture who?
Pasture bedtime isn't it!

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion so its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide.



Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.



"What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion?" asked the chief.



"Forget the damn lion!" he howled. "Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?"

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pasture!
Pasture who?
Pasture bedtime isn't it!

The farmer had borrowed a bull from a neighbor to service his two cows. He put the beast in the pasture and instructed his son to keep an eye on them. "As soon as the bull has finished, you come up to the house and tell me," he said.
When the farmer got back to the house, he found the Reverend there paying a social call. They were seated in the front room sipping tea when the boy burst in the door.
"Dad, Dad," he exclaimed, "the bull just--------the brown cow!"
Greatly embarrassed, the farmer took his son outside. "Is that any way to talk in front of the Reverend?" he demanded. "Why couldn't you have said the bull' surprised' the brown cow? I would've understood. Now go back down to the pasture and come tell me when the bull is finished."
A few minutes later the boy again burst into the room. "Dad, Dad-" he exclaimed.
Fearing another breach of verbal etiquette, the father interrupted.
"I more...

Have you heard about the five young bulls standing in the pasture discussing what they wanted to be when they grew up?
The first said he wanted to go to Rome and become a papal bull.
The second said he wanted to go to New York and become a bull on Wall Street.
The third wanted to go to the windy city to become a Chicago Bull.
The fourth said he wanted to go to Beijing and be a bull in a China shop.
The fifth said he was just going to stay in the pasture for heifer and heifer and heifer.