Paul Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well-spoken.
It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?" In seconds, he chooses Paul.
Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside. "I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"
"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Robert replies.
"Your hands? What do you mean?"
"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas available. While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Paul, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Paul, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn't very bright. So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Paul was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the gorilla for five hundred bucks? Paul showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Paul announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions.

"First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any more...

There was a job opening in the country’s most prestigious law firm and it finally came down to Robert and Paul. Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both came from good families. Both were equally attractive and well spoken. It was up to the senior partner to choose one, so he took each aside and asked, “Why did you become a lawyer?” In seconds, he chose Paul.Baffled, Robert took Paul aside. “I don’t understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I’d lay down my life for the Constitution and that all Iwanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?”“I said I became a lawyer because of my hands,” Paul replies.“Your hands? What do you mean?”“Well, I took a look one day and there wasn’t any money in either of them!”

1. According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why?
- Paul Lynde: He's out of town

2. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie,' What's The Matter With Helen?' Who plays Helen?
- Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that's why they asked the question

3. What are' dual-purpose cattle' good for that other cattle aren't?
- Paul Lynde: They give milk. .. and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies

4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
- Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

5. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
- Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him

6. Robert Young recently stated,' I never, never give. ..' something to his fans who ask for it. What?
- Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy

7. James more...

Top Ten Ways the Bible would be different if it were written by college students. 10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning cold. 9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font. 8. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling. 7. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria. 6. Paul's letter to the Romans becomes Paul's e-mail to [email protected].
5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. 4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon. 3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes. 2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen. 1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

If college students wrote the bible...
12.' Blood of Christ' switched from red wine to keg beer.
11. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning: cold!
10. Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.
9. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.
8. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.
7. Paul's Letter to the Romans becomes Paul's E-Mail To: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
6. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
5. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.
4. Out go the mules; In come the mountain bikes.
3. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like Freshmen.
2. Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement.
1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and more...

Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date's door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said.
"I'll be ready in a few minutes," she said. "Why don't you play with Rollo while you're waiting?" He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up and if you make a hoop with your arms, he'll jump through."
The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through -- and over the balcony railing. Just then Paul's date walked out.
"Isn't Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you've ever seen?"
"To tell the the truth, " he replied, "he seemed a little depressed to me."