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A young, virile Italian man was relaxing at a bar, when he managed to attract the attention of a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk, they made love.
A few moments later, he asked with a smile, "So... you finish?"
She paused for a moment, frowned, and replied, "No."
Somewhat surprised, he reached for her and the lovemaking resumed. This time, she thrashed around wildly, letting out frequent screams of passion. When the lovemaking ended, the young man smiled and again asked, "You finish?"
Once more she paused for a moment, smiled, and cuddling closer to him, said, "No."
Now stunned, but determined that she was not going to outlast him, he reached for her again. Using his last bit of strength, they climaxed simultaneously, screaming, bucking and clawing at the bedsheets.
Exhausted and gasping, the young man fell onto his back. more...
Three sisters ages 72, 74, and 76 lived in a house together. One night the 76-year-old drew a bath. She put her foot in and paused. She yelled down the stairs "was I getting into or out of the bath?"The 74-year-old yelled back "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She started up the stairs and paused. Then she yelled, "was I going up the stairs or down?"The 72-year-old sat at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shook her head sadly and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocked on wood for good measure. She then yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
A psychologist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him. "For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" The psychologist paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California." The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I`m sorry, but I can`t do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they`d have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That`s too much to ask." "OK," the psychologist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. "I`m a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!" The genie more...
One night, while tending bar, the bartender notices this hideous looking fella at the far end of the bar with several hot women around him. Finally, the bartender’s curiosity gets the best of him, and he walks down to where the ugly man is. The bartender says, “Please don’t get offended when I tell you this, but I couldn’t help noticing you have several beautiful women hanging all over you, and, forgive me, but you are not exactly the most handsome person I’ve ever seen. In fact, you’re quite ugly. Now, normally, I would think these ladies are attracted to you because of your money, but I can tell by the way you’re dressed and the fact that they are buying YOU drinks, it’s not the money. Tell me, sir, what is it about you that these women are so crazy about? ” The man paused a moment, licked his eyebrows, and said, “I haven’t the foggiest idea. ” One night, while tending bar, the bartender notices this hideous looking fella at the far end of the bar with more...
Three old sisters--92 (Robin), 94 (Doreen), and 96 (Peggy) years old, respectively all lived together. One day the oldest drew a bath. She put one foot in the water, paused, then called downstairs to her sisters, "Am I getting in the tub or out of the tub?"
The middle sister started up the stairs to help, then paused and called back downstairs, "Was I going up or coming down?"
The youngest sister, who was sitting at the kitchen table having tea, said, "I guess I'll have to help. I hope I never get that forgetful!" and knocked on wood. She got up then, paused, and called, "I'll come up as soon as I see who's at the door!"
Three drunks were sitting at a bar.
The first one said... "I went in my daughter's room, looked in the drawer and found a pack of cigarettes."
He paused. "I didn't even know she smoked!"
The second drunk said... "I can beat that! I went into my daughters room, looked in the closet and found a case of beer. I didn't even know she drank!"
The first two looked at the third as he begin to speak..
"I can beat that! I went into my daughter's room and looked under her pillow. I found a pack of condoms!!!"
He paused...
"I didn't even know she had a penis!!!"
Three drunks were sitting at a bar. The first one said... "I went in my daughter's room, looked in the drawer and found a pack of cigarettes."He paused. "I didn't even know she smoked!"The second drunk said... "I can beat that! I went into my daughters room, looked in the closet and found a case of beer. I didn't even know she drank!"The first two looked at the third as he begin to speak.."I can beat that! I went into my daughter's room and looked under her pillow. I found a pack of condoms!!!"He paused..."I didn't even know she had a penis!!!"