Peace Jokes / Recent Jokes

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans.After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but more...

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but more...

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.
Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans.
After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids more...

It took four years from the time George Herbert Walker Bush became President in 1988 for him to generate enough examples of his legendary verbal confusion to justify publishing a book of "Bushisms".
His son took 22 days. President Bush's murder of meaning seems to occur almost daily and has spoiled followers of verbal obfuscation for choice. Among recent highlights of his ability to baffle, bemuse and entertain have been:
"I understand small business growth. I was one."
"I know that the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully."
"There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it."
"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment."
"I haven't had a chance to ask the questioners the question they've been questioning."
"I hope the ambitious realise that more...

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.
Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. Used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing."
The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but more...

All my friends:

Someone sent me an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish things you've started. It is definitely working for me.

I am now making a point of always finishing what I start, and I think I am well on my way toward finding inner peace. Because I care for you, I am passing this wisdom on to you.


Here are the things that I have finished today:

- Two bags of potato chips,
- a strawberry cheesecake,
- a package of Oreo's,
- a bottle of wine, and
- a large box of chocolates.

I think this really works because I feel better already!!!

Pass this along to everyone you know who may need Inner Peace

The IgNobels, an annual spoof on the Nobel Prizes, recognise some of the more improbable contributions to research and discovery. This year's prizes include...
Medicine: A paper on injuries due to falling coconuts
Physics: Solution to why shower curtains billow inwards
Biology: The invention of airtight underpants with a special charcoal filter to remove bad smells
Technology: For patenting the wheel in the year 2001 (and the Australian Patent Office for granting the patent)
Public Health: A survey of nose picking among adolescents
Psychology: An ecological study of glee in small groups of preschool children.
Peace: For creating the amusement park known as "Stalin World"
Last year, the peace award went to the Royal Navy for saving live ammunition by making sailors shout "Bang!" on training exercises.
And in 1999, a Bristol University scientist, Len Fisher, won the IgNobel for physics for his technique for dunking a biscuit more...