Baghdad Jokes

The electricity is back on in Baghdad. That is a very climactic moment in any country`s liberation, when the lights come back on and you get a good look at what you looted.

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair.
They begin talking. After about five minutes, Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face.
Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later, the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well.
"I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States more...

Q: What's the national bird of Iraq?

A: DUCK!

Q: What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?

A: You shout out, "B-52"

The latest from Saudi Arabia and Baghdad is that:

Americans claim they have air superiority over Iraq.

Iraqis claim they have air superiority over Iran.

Q: Why doesn't Saddam go out drinking?

A: Why should he when he can get bombed at home?

Q: What does Saddam Hussein have in common with Fred Flinstone?

A: They both can look out of their window and see rubble!

Q: Have you heard about the new Royal Iraqi Air Force exercise program?

A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there.

Q: What should Iraq get for its air defense system?

A: A refund.

Q: Who is an Iraqi Hero?

A: He's the one that waited thirty seconds before he surrendered.

"Why are there no WalMarts in Baghdad? Because there is a Target on every corner!"

What might've happened: Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the more...