Peaches Jokes

An old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.
When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had taken.
The lady replied, "A can of peaches."
The judge then asked why she had done it.
She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."
The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.
She replied, "Nine."
The judge said, "Well then, I'm going to give you nine days in jail-one day for each peach."
As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak.
The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?"
The husband said, "Your honor, she also stole a can of peas."

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,' What did you steal?'

She replied,' A can of peaches.'

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said,' I will then give you 6 days in jail.'

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said,' What is it?'

The husband said,' She also stole a can of peas.'

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,' What did you steal?'
She replied,' A can of peaches.'
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said,' I will then give you 6 days in jail.'
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said,' What is it?'
The husband said,' She also stole a can of peas.'

An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before
the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied: a can of peaches. The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6. The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. He said, " What is it?" The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."

The old farmer was having a pretty bad year. All of his crops had been lost. Fortunately, the peach orchard had done very well. The only way he was going to make it financially was to cut out the middleman and sell the peaches directly to the consumer. So, he loaded his pickup with peaches and headed to town.
Just on the outskirts of town, he came to a house. He grabbed a basket of peaches, walked up to the house, and knocked on the door. A gorgeous blonde, wearing a sheer robe, answered the door. In a sexy voice she said, "Hi, honey, what can I do for you?"
Somewhat shaken, the old farmer muttered, "I have these really nice peaches for sale."
The blonde, noticing how shaken he was, decided to play a bit. She opened the top of her robe, exposing her breasts, and said, "Are those peaches full and firm like these?"
Even more shaken, he managed to whisper, "Oh yes, they're really good peaches."
Then, she opened the rest of her more...