Perfect Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus, with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated, and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The question is: Who was the survivor? Scroll down for the answer. The perfect woman survived. She's the only one that existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and no such thing as a perfect man. * **Women more...
Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get. I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others? Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live. The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him. I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool. I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible. I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused more...
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Question: Who was the survivor?
Answer:
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place.
**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
So, if there is no perfect man and no more...
The perfect gift for people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer." A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined. Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager. The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was more...
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus, with a huge bundle of toys.
Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.
Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated, and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The question is: Who was the survivor? Scroll down for the answer.
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one that existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and no such thing as a perfect more...
Two male golfers are standing on the 10th tee. Bill takes about 20 practice swings, changes his grip 5 or 6 times, and changes his stance just as much. "Hey Bill what are you doing? Play for heaven's sake. We don't have all day!" says Jim. "Hold on a minute, I gotta do this right. See the woman standing up there on the clubhouse porch? That's my wife and I would like to get off the perfect shot," replied Bill. Jim looks, and about 250 yards away he sees Bill's wife. He says, "You must be kidding. You couldn't hit her from here."