Pharmacist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young magician started to work on a cruise ship with his pet parrot. The parrot would always steal his act by saying things like, "he has a card up his sleeve" or "he has a dove in his pocket." One day the ship sank and the magician and the parrot found themselves alone on a lifeboat. For a couple of days, they just sat there looking at each other. Finally, the parrot broke the silence and said, "Okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?" Animals
Gonna get lucky "A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the night".
"We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all more...

A duck walks into a pharmacy waddles up to the prescription counter
and rings the bell. The pharmacist walks up and asks, "Can I help
you?" The duck replies, "Yes, I would like a box of condoms."
"Why certainly," says the pharmacist, "will that be cash or would
you like me to put it on your bill?" The duck answers, "What kind of
duck do you think I am?"

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

When a customer comes into the shop, be very polite to them and try to put a little poetry into it when you're talking to them.The youth says that he does not see what the pharmacist means by this, so the pharmacist says that he should observe when the next customer comes in and watch how he or she is dealt with.Presently a middle aged woman comes in to the shop and asks for something for a tummy bug.The pharmacist says, "There's a lot of that virus going about, but this pink mixture should sort you out!""Oh thank you very much!" says the middle aged woman and she leaves the shop.So the pharmacist says the youth can serve the next customer while he goes to tea break, "And remember to put some poetry into it" he says.Anyway, the youth waits around and nobody comes in, so he decides to go to the restroom. Just as he's about to nip off, a young teenage girl comes in."Can I help you?" he asks. She replies very embarrassedly that she would like to more...

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. more...

Outside a chemist in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life, not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle, just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks, "What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?"
Assistant replies, "Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help."
Pharmacist says, "He seems to be fine now."
Assistant replies, "Sure, he does. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!"

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said "this is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "the best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $3000 a month in living expenses."