Philosophy Jokes / Recent Jokes

I don`t want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is an answering machine? Maybe it`s a dream, or maybe it`s an illusion, or maybe YOU don`t really exist. One way to find out is to leave a message, and if it`s reality, I will call you back.

(True story)

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less
than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does
not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and
finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words "What chair?"

What are the principle differences between a Philosophy student, an engineering student and a fine arts student?
The Philosophy student asks,"Why?"
The Engineering student asks, "How?"
The Fine Arts student asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

The accountant for the law firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe was retiring after working for the firm for seventeen years. Cheatham was interviewing applicants, and was disappointed, as only three had even bothered to send in a resume.

After looking over the application of the first, an accountant with six years experience at Goldman Sachs, he called the first applicant in, and asked the woman what 2 plus 2 was.

She answered, "Four."

Cheatham said he would call her if she was selected.

The second candidate was a CPA from Harvard, and at the end of the interview he was asked the same question, "What is two and two?"

The CPA replied, "Four." Cheatham told him that he would call the young man if he was selected.

The third applicant was a recently-graduated philosophy. Cheatham figured that this wasn't going to go anywhere, but thought, "What the hey? I've got nothing to more...

Any philosophy that can fit into a nutshell belongs there.