Phones Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What's the difference between cell phones and tampons?
A: Cell phones are for assholes!!
When two (ore more) people are working a desks that are put next to each other, switch their telephone cords. With all those cables lying around it will take some time before they find that one out!
Put a peice of onion or a clove of garlic inside the mouthpiece of a phone. Give it some time for it to fester and build up a strong odor. Then call them and keep them on the phone for as long as possible.
It is allways a good habit to lock your computer before heading off for coffee or a smoke. When someone forgets and leaves a Word document or an email open, type a single word somewhere in the text. “f*ck” or so will do nicely. They’ll never notice and send it out.
Get a hold of someone's cell phone and change the greeting banner to say "NO SERVICE". Many cell phones have greeting banners on them that you can personalize to say whatever you want them to and it stays on there when you're not using your phone. Also, when there is no service more...
In a small midwestern town, nestled-up in the wee rolling hills of
southern Indiana, there's a microcosm of all that is (and shall ever
be) the Great Mid West. It's known as Brown County. Yup. That's
my hometown!
And if you want to know what's going on in Brown County, you only
have to read the Sheriff's Log in the local paper, The Brown County
Democrat. Heck, even if you don't want to know what's going on, you
still read it for the comic relief!
This is a small collection of some of the actual phone calls received
by the Sheriff's department in good 'ol Brown County, Indiana:
Man on Bellsville Road reported someone has knocked down
his mailbox and then came back and ran over it.
11:14pm Man reports suspicious vehicle on Butler Road.
11:34pm Deputy reports vehicle had a couple of "lovers"
in it. They were advised to pull the car off the road.
Man has found a couch hidden behind a wood pile.
Woman's washing more...
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!' 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles. 7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable. 8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King.. 9. ..but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're 'astronaut food'. 10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from 'Dianetics.' 11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I. 12. Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, 'You mean you really can't more...
a blonde walked into a barber shop and the lady at the desk said it will be 5 minutes.
5 minutes paa and she is called back(mean while she is listing 2 headphones.)
The man say "ummm... excuse me but you will have to take your head phones off. she says no if you take them off somethin bad will happen.The man comes bac 5 inutes later and says again"please take your hed phones off.NO replied the girl.The man rips her headphones off and the woman dropped dead What have i done he listens to the head phones they are saying Breath In Breath out
A Brooklyn school on Wednesday launched a new program that rewards schoolchildren with free cell phones for good grades.
One small problem – instead of Motorola Razors, they accidentally got the kids in Brooklyn actual razors. Ouch.