Photographer Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell with the hopes of making a sale.
"Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to... "
"Oh, there's no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Jones cut in.
"You have?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's exactly what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked a blushing Mrs. Jones.
"You just leave everything to me," he replied. "Usually, I try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread more...

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great bush fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his office to hire a plane.

"It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let’s go! Let’s go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes."
"Why?" asked the pilot.
"Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation and impatience.
After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you’re not the instructor?"

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale." Good morning, madam. I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in." Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies""That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out!""Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and more...

A photographer from a well-known national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the firefighters as they battled the blaze.

When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved, and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport, where a plane would be waiting for him.

He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate.

He jumped in with his bag and shouted, "Let's go!"

The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.

The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some more...

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old
in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag,
"The Cambridge Distorter," told a photographer to get over there
and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin bitteys.

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear
quite well.

The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa and the deaf one
said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"

He said, "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!" said the other.

"Now get a little closer together," said the cameraman.

Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"

"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE." So they wiggled up close to
each other.

"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said
the photographer.

Yet again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"

"HE SAYS HE'S more...

A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone
National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they
battled the blaze.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede
or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to
rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He
was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him.
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and
shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in
the air.
The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some
pictures."
"Why?" more...

A old Irish woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, to a photographer and asked him if he could touch it up as it was the only photo she had to remember him by. The Photographer assured her that when he finished with the photo she would think it had just been developed. He also asured her that he could remove all the wrinkles and the scratches from the photo and asked her if that was all she wanted done on the photo to which she replied, well he’s wearing his old rubber wellington boots and I never really cared for them, could you do something about that. The photographer said he could make it look like he had his sunday best shoes on. She was really delighted and asked him if he could do something with the old moth eaten jumper her husband was wearing in the photo to which he said he could make it look like a new jumper. By this time she was really overjoyed and said that she never liked the hat he had on and wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from more...