Photographer Jokes / Recent Jokes

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting.

He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!"

The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes." "Why?" asked the nervous pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures."
The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

One morning the Pope awoke in his bed chamber in the Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up with a massive erection. Perplexed, he called on his personal physician.
"Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 30 years!"
The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from time to time".
The Pope exclaimed "But you must do something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this thing isn't going away!"
The doctor replied "You have two options. .. either I can administer an injection to your penis to make the problem go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve yourself."
Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option. Unbeknown to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked into the more...

Santa and his wife lives in a small house in Chandigarh. One day Santa's wife, Jeeto, asks Santa to fix a cupboard door, since one of the hinges was broken.
His reply was "Do I look like a carpenter? I'm a Photographer, not a carpenter. Get a carpenter to fix the door".
A few days later, Jeeto asks him to fix a dripping tap.
Again Santa replies "Do I look like a plumber? I'm a photographer, not a plumber. Get a plumber to fix the tap".
A week later, Santa notices that both the tap and the door have been fixed, so he asks Jeeto who fixed it.
She replied "I met a handyman in town, and he offered to fix the door and the tap if I either bake him a cake or have sex with him".
Santa asked "So what kind of cake did you bake?
Jeeto replied "Do I look like a baker?"...

One morning the Pope awoke in his bed chamber in the Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up with a massive erection. Perplexed, he called on his personal physician. "Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 30 years!"
The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from time to time".
The Pope exclaimed "But you must do something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this thing isn't going away!"
The doctor replied "You have two options. .. either I can administer an injection to your penis to make the problem go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve yourself."
Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option. Unbeknown to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked into the Vatican, more...

A famous magazine photographer was dispatched to a famous haunted house to get shots of the apparition residing there. In the haunted house, when the clock struck 12 midnight, the apparition appeared on the staircase landing. Amazingly, the apparition posed (like a supermodel) for the photographer! But lighting was very bad at the moment and the camera flash batteries were LOW. Anyway, the photographer snapped away. But the pictures did not come out well because of the low batteries.

He later explained to his boss at the magazine this way:' The spirit was willing, but the flash was weak.'

One morning the Pope awoke in his bed chamber in the Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up with a massive erection. Perplexed, he called on his personal physician.

'Doctor, this should not be possible,' he said,' I'm the Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 30 years!'

The doctor's reply was,' Well, father, this is a natural phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from time to time'.

The Pope exclaimed' But you must do something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this thing isn't going away!'

The doctor replied' You have two options... either I can administer an injection to your penis to make the problem go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve yourself.'

Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option.

Unbeknown to him, a paparazzi photographer had sneaked into the Vatican, and more...

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said' I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.' Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door.' Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...'' Oh yes, I know why you're here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.'' He did? But I...'' Come right in! No use wasting time. '' Very well, then.' The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down.' As you may already know, I've made a specialty of babies.'' Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs.' That's just what Harry and I were looking for.'' I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer.' The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.'' Bathtub? Living room more...