Pickle Jokes / Recent Jokes
A lady stumbles into a bar.
She says, "Beertender, give me a dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it."
He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it." He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and you better put two pickles in it, because... because I've got heartburn."
The bartender says, "Look, lady...it's not beertender, it's bartender. It's not a martuni, it's a martini. It's not a dribble, it's a double. That's not a pickle, it's an onion. And you haven't got heartburn, "
You have your left tit in the Ashtray!"
A lady stumbles into a bar. She says, "Beertender, give me a dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it."
He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and put a pickle in it." He gives it to her, and she drinks it down.
She says, "Beertender, give me another dribble martuni, and you better put two pickles in it, because..because I've got heartburn."
The bartender says, "Look, lady...it's not beertender, it's bartender. It's not a martuni, it's a martini. It's not a dribble, it's a double. That's not a pickle, it's an onion. And you haven't got heartburn, "You have your left tit in the Ashtray!"
There was a building and the first floor had a pickle store. the second was nothing. the third floor was selling saws.one day a person went out on the porch of the second floor. the third floors manager droped a saw down. the saw cut the person's ass then ass fell into a pickle jar. after a while an old lady bought the pickle jar with the ass inside it.when she went home she ate one. then she ate another one and another and another until the ass. when she ate it she said this one is extra good. she went back to the pickle store she said she will take 20 more jars... especially the ones with the white things inside it...
A CONVERSATION
A cucumber and a pickle are having a conversation and the pickle says to the cucumber,
"You know my life really sucks. Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings over me and stick me in a jar."
So the cucumber says,
"yeah, you think that is bad, whenever I get big, fat and juicy they slice me up and they put me over salad."
So the penis is walking by and overhears their conversation and says,
"You think that your life is tough?! Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they put a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, smelly room, and make me do push ups until I throw up!"
Two morticians are working on a body. One says to the other:
"'The other day I got girl's body that was found in a river. You should've seen it, her clit was like a pickle" To which he replies: "Why, was it green?" And he says: "No, it was sour."
There once was a man who worked in a pickle factory. He had this very great and
powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. This went on for
years, and finally he couldn't stand it. He decided that he had to do it.
The day he finally did it he arrived home from work at 11am. His wife was
very worried and asked what happened. For the first time, he explained to
her this long-time desire to put his dick in the pickle slicer.
The man's wife gasped and ran over to him, yanked his pants and briefs down,
and found his member perfectly intact.
"I don't understand," she exclaimed, "what happened to the pickle slicer?"
The man replied, "I think she got fired, too
This guy comes home from work at the pickle factory and his wife asks him how his day was.
"Horrible," he says. "After 10 years working at the pickle factory, they fired me."
"Why'd they fire you?" asked his wife.
"Well, me and a bunch of the guys went out to a bar during lunch and got pretty loaded. When we got back, they bet me $100 bucks that I wouldn't stick my dick in the pickle slicer."
"Well, did you?" asked his wife.
"For 100 bucks?" said the husband. "Of course I did."
"Well, is your dick OK?" asked the wife.
"It's fine."
"Well, what happened to the pickle slicer?" asked his wife.
"They fired her too."