Pig Jokes / Recent Jokes

Have you heard about the pig who took up disco dancing? He liked to swing his weight around.

> >>There's this kid who lives on a farm. He comes home from school, in
> a
> >>really bad mood. He sees a pig and kicks it. Then he sees a
> chicken and
> >>kicks
> >>that. Then he walks into the house.
> >>"I saw you kick those animals," his mother said, "For kicking the
> pig,
> >>you'll have no bacon for a week. For kicking the chicken, you'll
> have no
> >>eggs
> >>for
> >>a week." The kid's about to say something, when his father walks in
> the
> >>door,
> >>also
> >>in a foul mood, and kicks the cat. The kid says to his mother, "You
> want
> to
> >>tell
> >>him, or should I?"

Bill Clinton and his driver are in a hurry, so they are speeding past several farms. On their way past one of the farms Bill's driver hits a pig. He stops the car and decides he had better tell the owners.

Bill waits in the car all night and the driver doesn't come back until the next morning. Bill says, "what did they do to you?"

The driver replies, "they gave me a good meal and they told me to sleep with their daughter. They tried to give me fruit for the road, but I had to say no. "

Bill says, Wow! What did you say to them? The driver replies, All I said was "I'm Bill Clinton's driver and I killed the pig."

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face.

The NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blond.
When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us, over."
"Oink, oink, here Pig1, read you loud and clear"
"Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?"
"Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing, over."
"That's right. Over and out."
They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. "Hallo, Pig2, Here Houston, come in please."
"Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear."
"OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?"
"Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program."
"That's right. Over and out."
An hour later when the rocket has more...

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road
They pass each other
Woman yells out her window, "PIG!"
Man yells out his window, "BITCH!"
Man rounds next curve
Crashes into a huge pig in middle of road.
Thought For The Day: If only men would listen.

How did the little pig win at Monopoly? He built hotels on Pork Place.