Pig Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why do pigs run into trees? To shake out the alligators. Ive never seen an alligator In a tree. Thats because the pigs do such a good job.
Milton Rice took his business associates to an expensive French restaurant. Rather than admit he couldn't read a word of the menu, he went ahead and ordered for his guests. Although the waiter's brows arched when Mr. Rice ordered his own meal, he brought the man what hef asked for: a whole pig smothered in pineapple sauce. When the tray was wheeled over, Mr. Rice was shocked, but he didn't miss a beat. Reaching into the pig's mouth, he withdrew the apple.
"It's expensive," he said to his associates, "but you know-this is the only way I like apples."
"I hear you lost your court case. Did your lawyer give you bad advice?"
"No. He charged me for it."
There are two kinds of lawyers -- those who know the law and those who know the judge.
Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig is at home in the mud.
Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970.
Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as efficient and half as expensive every 18 months.
Through the kitchen window a farmer's wife sees herson coming home from school. The boy's in a bad mood, and as he crosses the field he kicks a pig. He walks alittle further and kicks a cow. Once inside, hismother says, "I saw what you did, young man! Forkicking the pig you'll get no bacon for a week, andfor kicking the cow, no milk for a week."Just at that moment, the boy's father walks throughthe door and boots the cat halfway across the room. The boy looks at his mother and says, "Do you wannatell him, or should I? "
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary." Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."