Pill Jokes / Recent Jokes

A short history of medicine: I have an ear ache.
2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said "Please give me aprescription for the Pill.""I don't think you need the Pill at your age.""It relaxes me.""But you know the' purpose' of the Pill. It's not forrelaxing," exclaimed the physician."I know," said Mrs Ogden, "but my daughter dates, and everymorning I drop one in her orange juice. Believe me, I feelmore relaxed.

A man was feeling terribly out of sorts and decided to go to the doctor so
he made an appointment and showed up the next day. After the doctor
examined the man, the doctor invited him into his office for the
consultation. The doctor came into the room with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor told the man to take the red pill in the morning with a big glass
of water, the blue pill in the afternoon with a big glass of water and the
green pill in the evening with a big glass of water.
The man, terribly shocked at the amount of pills he had to take asked the
doctor what in the world was wrong with him.
The doctor replied, "You aren't getting enough water."

A short history of medicine: I have an earache. 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

A short history of medicine:I have an earache. 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature! "What else do you have?" asks the student. "Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist. The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?" The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment." He goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter. "I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student. The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know. .. mat h always was a little hard to swallow."

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.
Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!"
"That's all fine" said the boss. "But where were you yesterday?"