Pill Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day there was an indian chief who was constipated. he sent one of hiswarriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior says "BigChief, no shit". the doctor gave him 1 pill and told him that the chiefshould be fine tomorrow.The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. the next morningthe warrior was sent back to the witch doctor and says "big chief, no shit". the doctor gives him five pills and tells him to give them to the chief.The next day the warrior appears at the witch doctor's house yet againsaying "big chief, no shit". the doctor gets annoyed and so gives thewarrior the whole bottle of pills to give to the chief.The next day the warrior goes back to the witch doctor (AGAIN):"Big shit, no chief".

Never take a pill that has more side effects than you have symptoms.

Questions to Ponder about ViagraIf a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut? If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart? I dropped a Viagra in a jar of small sweet pickles last night and this morning had a jar full of big Kosher dills. I would only take Viagra for intellectual purposes, so my head would swell. Before Viagra, for some people, making love was classified as "assault with a dead weapon." Viagra, medicine's version of "MIRACLE-GRO." Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where. Are you taking Viagra or are you just happy to see me? If however you do need to take Viagra, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck. A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today. Police have put out an All-Points bulletin: Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals! They will face a stiff sentence more...

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night at dinner, she does just that. About a week later she's back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn`t five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

Farmer: I've got a bull that's right off it duties. It's got to service 300 cows and all it wants to do is eat. Vet: Give it one of these little pills in its feed and stand back. So 2 weeks later the farmer comes back to the vet: Farmer: WOW, what a pill! I gave the pill to the bull like you said and POW! It jumped over the gate, ran down the lane and fucked 70 cows in 30 minutes. Vet: So, what's the problem - why have you come back? Farmer: Well, I was wondering, I am meeting this 18-year-old tonight - could you give me one of those tablets? I'm not as young as I was. Vet: Oh, no! Sorry, it's too strong but I will give you a quarter of a pill. So the farmer takes the pill and goes off to prepare for his date. Several days later, the farmer goes back to the Vet. Farmer: Hello, Vet. Wonderful. 40 Times. Vet: So, why have you come back? Farmer: Ah! I need something for my wrist - she never showed up!

The Short History of Medicine
2000 B. C. - Here, eat this root
1000 A. D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A. D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A. D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A. D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A. D. - That antibiotic doesn't work any more. Here, eat this root.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.
Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
Q: But why do brunettes take the pill?
A: Wishful Thinking.
Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?
A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.