"Viagra again." joke
Questions to Ponder about ViagraIf a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut? If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart? I dropped a Viagra in a jar of small sweet pickles last night and this morning had a jar full of big Kosher dills. I would only take Viagra for intellectual purposes, so my head would swell. Before Viagra, for some people, making love was classified as "assault with a dead weapon." Viagra, medicine's version of "MIRACLE-GRO." Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where. Are you taking Viagra or are you just happy to see me? If however you do need to take Viagra, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck. A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today. Police have put out an All-Points bulletin: Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals! They will face a stiff sentence when convicted and they'll surely be sent to a Penal Institution. Scientists developed the idea for Viagra after studying President Clinton's DNA. * *********************************************VIAGRA CAUSES PANIC ------------------------ WASHINGTON, DC (DPI) -- Viagra, the new pill for impotence approved by the Food and Drug Administration on Friday, is already causing problems across the country. The FDA had said a man would need to by sexually aroused before the drug would work, but apparently failed to consider that most men walk around in a constant state of sexual arousal. Several disasters or near-disasters have already been reported: FDA Spokesperson Bonnie Thurston commented, "There's no limit to the damage that this pill could cause. We've got to make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, like President Clinton's, for example, of we could have a potential nuclear mistake."
The Food and Drug Administration is busy testing crackers and peanut butter in the recent salmonella scare. They test them by eating a whole package, then see how long it takes them to whistle out their ass.
The FDA is holding hearings on whether to expand warning labels on anti-depressants due to risks of suicidal behavior.
Lawyers for the major drug companies say all that is required is closer monitoring of patients.
In a related development, company lawyers also more...
Following a ban on spinach, the Food and Drug Administration has now recalled lettuce for possible health risks. The FDA has also banned whole wheat bread, vitamins, and exercise.