Pints Jokes / Recent Jokes
An Irishman walked into a bar in Dublin, ordered three pints of Guiness
and sat in the back o fthe room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finished them, he came back to the bar and ordered three more.
The bartender asked him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it
would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replied,
"Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in
Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised
that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."
The bartender agreed that it was a nice custom and left it at that.
The Irishman became a regular in the bar, and always drank the same way:
He ordered three pints and drank them in turn.
One day, the Irishman came in and ordered two pints. All the other
regulars noticed and fell silent. When he came back to the bar for the
second round, the more...
A man moves from Ireland to New York City, leaving two of his best friends behind to make it in America. To keep their tradition of nightly drinks alive, every night he goes into an Irish-style pub and orders three pints. The bartender, after a month of this, becomes curious, and asks the man what he's doing. Touched by the story, the bartender has the 3 pints ready for the man every time he comes in. One day, the man tells the bartender to only give him 2 pints.
"My condolences," says the bartender, thinking that one of the man's friends has died.
"No, no," says the man, "they're both still alive. I've just quit drinking."
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it, it would taste better if you bought one at a time.
"The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other is in Australia, and I'm in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we drank together. So I drink one for each o'me brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the
same way. He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the more...
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one." "Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk." "Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it" "Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk." "Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks." "Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round." "When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you' to give me a hand to turn the mattress." My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle." "Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me." "Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply more...
A man walks into a pub in ireland and orders three pints of guiness. The bartender gives them to him and the man walks to the back of the bar and sips on each of them. When he is finished the man walks up and orders three more. This time the bartender asks why he doesn't just order one at a time. The man explains that he has a brother in the US and in Australia and when they left home they agreed to each drink like this to remember when they used to get boozed up together. The bartender agrees this is a nice custom and pours three more pints. The man returns to the bar night after night and soon becomes a regular. One night he goes up to the bar and only orders two pints. All of the other regulars and the bartender stop drinking and express their concern for his loss. The man then explains "oh no, everyone's fine I just quit drinking!"
a man and his friend called donkey (who had a stutter) went into a bar the man went to the bar and said to the barman, ill have a pint for me and a pint for donkey, the barman give him the 2 pints and after the man and his friend donkey drank them the man went to the toliet while the man was at the toliet his friend got the next drink he said to the barman, cccaannn i hh..ave 2 pints, the barman says, thats not fair the way he calls u donkey, donkey replies, heaw heaw he always calls me donkey.
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?". The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".