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Q. My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out?
A. Nope, they're the Real McCoy. The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen". Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.
Q. What happens if I press both shift keys?
A. Even bigger letters may show up on your screen. You should not use this feature, however, because these letters are also brighter, and may cause Screen Burn-In, which would be particularly embarrassing if you were typing something naughty at the time. You might consider obtaining the author's Shift Key Burn-In Protector program for only $
139.
95. Or you might not, it's your computer, but don't say I didn't warn you.
Q. my religion prohibits the use of shift keys. how can i type capital letters and punctuation
A. Discuss alternatives to the shift key with more...

More than thirty years ago when I first moved to Memphis TN in the United States, I traveled over to the state of Arkansas in search of an antique automobile museum which I was told was located in a public park named Petit Jean State Park.
I stopped at a rural grocery store to ask directions and, pronouncing the place name in my very best Louisiana Cajun French, asked for directions to Petit Jean.
The proprietor told me that he had never heard of any such place. I then explained that it was the location of an antique automobile museum to which he exclaimed, "Oh, you mean PETTY GENE!" and proceeded to give me explicit directions.

Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone.
Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds.
Martha's way #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way: Buy a mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #4: To prevent eggshells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
Martha's way #5: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on more...

When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds
Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best ot make my daughter's suitors feel even worse.
My motto: wilt them in the living room and they'll stay wilted all night.
"So," I'll call out jovially. "I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you're STUPID, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?"
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.
Rule one: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as more...

One afternoon, two worms were crawling through the grass. The male worm said to female worm, "How about if you and I go back to your place?"
The female worm said, "Okay." So, the two worms went back to her place and the male worm noticed that the female worm is wearing a wedding ring.
The male worm said, "I'm sorry honey, but I don't do this sort of thing with married worms."
The female worm replied, "Don't worry. My husband is not coming home."
The male worm asked, "How do you know that for sure?"
The female worm answered, " Well, he got up early this morning and went fishing."

When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamondsNow, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best ot make my daughter's suitors feel even worse.My motto: wilt them in the living room and they'll stay wilted all night."So," I'll call out jovially. "I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you're STUPID, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?"As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.Rule one: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything more...

Chicken Story Teacher- Have You Ever Wondered How A Chick Comes Out Of An Egg? Ravi- Out Of An An Egg, Hmm. Miss, I Have Always Wondered How A Chick Manages To Enter The Egg In The First Place!