Plugging Jokes

A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into thecoke machine at a large Vegas casino. She keptpunching the buttons only to have happen what you'dexpect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so wentand got more. Back at it she went, blocking the wayto the other vending machines with the mounting pileof soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to theyoung lady. People were starting to gather, seeing this beautifulwoman enthusiastically plugging money in like it wasfun. The people were gathering more though waiting theirturn at the machines. After watching a while, someone asked from the rear ofthe group, 'Hey, how much soda does one blonde need?' 'Hey back off, buddy,' she retorts, 'can't you see I'mwinning here?'

A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into thecoke machine at a large Vegas casino. She keptpunching the buttons only to have happen what you'dexpect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too! After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so wentand got more. Back at it she went, blocking the wayto the other vending machines with the mounting pileof soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to theyoung lady. People were starting to gather, seeing this beautifulwoman enthusiastically plugging money in like it wasfun. The people were gathering more though waiting theirturn at the machines. After watching a while, someone asked from the rear ofthe group,' Hey, how much soda does one blonde need?'' Hey back off, buddy,' she retorts,' can't you see I'mwinning here?'

Calling me with a question - $10
Calling me with a stupid question - $20
Calling me with a stupid question you can't quite articulate - $30
Implying I'm incompetent because I can't interpret your inarticulate
problem description - $1000 + punitive damages
Questions received via phone without first trying help desk - $10.00
Questions where answer is in TFM - $100.00
Calling me back with the same problem *after* I fix it once - $100
Insisting that you're not breaking the software, the problem is on my
end somehow - $200
Asking me to walk over to your building to fix the problem - $5/step
Asking me to drive to another town to fix your problem - $50/mile + gas
If you interrupt me while I was trying to actually fix somebody else's
problem - $45/hr
If you try to hang around and get me to fix it now - $50/hr
If you expect me to tell you how I fixed it - $60/hr
If you've come to ask me why something isn't working that more...