Poem Jokes / Recent Jokes

PROGRAMMER'S POEM! *''# ^"`$$-! *=@$_ %* ~#4 &[]../ |{,, SYSTEM HALTED The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit: Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash, Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash, Bang splat equal at dollar under-score, Percent splat waka waka tilde number four, Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash, Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.

It seems that two of the great Romantic British Poets, Shelly and Keats died on the same day. When they got to heaven St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I only have room for one poet. I'll tell you what I'll do. Each of you must make up a poem using the word' Timbuctoo.' The one who creates the best poem I'll let into heaven." So Shelly goes first. He thinks a bit and after a few moments, he starts, "I stood upon the burning sand gazing at a far off land. A caravan came into view it's destination: Timbuctoo." "Very good!" says St. Peter, "Keats it's your turn. Do you think you can top that one?" Keats just smiled and started his poem: "Tim and I a hunting went, and found three maidens in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuctoo."

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu."
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The redneck won hands down!

Two friends, Tony and Timmy, did not memorize the poems they needed to learn for their class. Due to this, their teacher scolded them. When they got home that night, they got to work memorizing the poems. Timmy memorized his poem well, but Tony did not like the subject of his poem and became frustrated. He goes to his mom who is working in the kitchen. "Mom, do you know any poems?"
"Just shut up!" she snaps at him. Tony writes, "Just shut up" on a piece of paper. He then goes to his dad who is busy working in his home office. "Dad, do you know any poems?"
"Just throw that in the dustbin," his dad mutters. Tony writes, "Just throw that in the dustbin," on the paper. He goes to his older brother who is watching his favorite movie, "Superman" on the television. "Michael, do you know any poems?"
"Superman!" he shouts angrily at his brother. Tony writes, "Superman" on the piece more...

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family, well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Tennessee A & M.
The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu."
The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two,
Destination-Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?!
The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped up and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I more...

The text of the poem is as below:
^"`$$ -
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%*< ~#4
&((../
|{}, , SYSTEM HALTED
The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit:
Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.