Poisoning Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man went to see his Rabbi. He stated in a very serious tone, ""Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asked, "How can that be?"
The man then pleaded, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then said, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi called the man and said, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously replied, "Yes."
"Take the poison," said the Rabbi.
Man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it."
The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?"
The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"
The man anxiously says, "Yes."
"Take the poison," says the Rabbi.
A group of tourists, stranded somewhere in the countryside, were given old rations to eat. Before eating the food, they tested it by throwing some of it to a dog who seemed to enjoy it and suffered no ill after effects.
The following day they learnt that the dog had died. Everyone was panic-stricken. Many began to vomit and complained of fever and dysentery. A doctor was called into treat the victims for food poisoning.
The doctor began by asking what had happened to the body of the dog. Enquiries were made. A neighbor casually said " Oh it was thrown in a ditch because it got run over by a car."
...actor jeremy piven has quit the cast of the broadway play "speed the plow"...the reason why is in dispute....the actor maintains he left the show due to mercury poisoning....his co-stars are attributing it to ur-an-anus poisoning.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
A: He ate a nine year old wiener!