Polak Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the Polak that couldn`t spell? He spent the night in a warehouse.

A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert when they suddenly ran out of gas. They all decided to start walking to the nearest town (which they had passed 50 miles back) to get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him. The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water, so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said, "Hi there...what are you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?"
The white guy explained his predicament and explained that since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him with a loaf of bread in his hand. "What are you doing?" asked the rancher again.
As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and more...

An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years, but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."

The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!"His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.

The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.

The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.

Five years later, the Germans come to release their prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out rather inebriated. Then, they release the Polak, who comes out and says, "Has anyone got a more...

An Italian, an American, and a Polak were captured by the French for various crimes and are taken to the Guillotine.
The executioner places the Italian on the block and asks if he has any last words. The Italian replies, "I pray to the Virgin Mary that I may live." They drop the blade it it stops a mere inch above the Italian's neck. Amazed, the French let him go.
Next, the American is put in position and asked if he has any final words. He replies, "In the name of Jesus Christ, please have mercy." They drop the blade, and again it stops just an inch from the American's neck. In disbelief, they let him go free.
Then the Polak is placed on the block, and they ask if he has any last words.
He says, "Yeah. You've got a knot in your rope."

There are three construction workers on top of a building having lunch. One Italian, one Polak, and one Oriental.
The Italian has a meatball hero, the Oriental has noodles, and the Polak has knockwurst. The Italian and the Oriental are tired of having the same lunches everyday. The Italian says that if he gets a meatball hero the next day that he will throw it off the building. The Oriental says that if he gets noodles tommorow he will also throw it off the building. The Polak says that if he gets knockwurst tommorow he will throw it off the building.
Sure enough the Italian and Oriental workers open their lunch-boxes and they find that they have a meatball hero and noodles respectively. They both throw their lunches off the building. The Polak then throws his sandwich off the building.
The other guys ask him how he knew that it was knockwurst again without even looking.
He responded by saying, "Because I pack my own lunch."