Poof Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple had been married for 25 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.

Seventy-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results.
Doctor Smith said,
'George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself and do you have a good relationship with your God?'
George replied,
'God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, poof, the light goes on when I pee and then, poof, the light goes off when I'm done.'
'Wow,' commented Doctor
Smith, 'that's incredible!'
A little later in the day Doctor Smith called George's wife. 'Thelma,' he said, 'George is just fine. Physically he's great.
But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and, poof, the light goes on in the toilet and then, poof, the light goes off?'
Thelma exclaimed, 'That old fool. He's been peeing in the more...

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."The brunette says, "Ive been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "Ive been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, whats the matter?"The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

There were 3 blondes who found a jeanie. He granted each of them a wish. The first wished she was 50% smarter - poof she's a BRUNETTE, the second wished she was 25% smarter - poof she's a REDHEAD, the third wished she was 50% dumber - poof she's a BLOND MAN. Two blonds were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blond said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them. Q. What do turtls and blondes have in common?
A. When they are on their back, they are both fucked! Two blondes are walking in the woods when one looks down and says," Look dog poop" The other bends down and smells it," Smells like dog poop" They both stick there fingers in it"feels like dog poop" They taste it" Taste like dog poop" One says to the other "Sure glad we didin't step in it."

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth - if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first."I think I'm the smartest woman on earth." "POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try.p>"I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth.""POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up."I think-""POOF!"

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth - if you lie, you disappear.
One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror.
The brunette goes first.
"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try.p>"I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth."
"POOF!" She disappears.
The blonde goes up.
"I think-"
"POOF!

Did you hear about the guy on the beach who found a bottle? He rubbed it and, sure enough, out popped a genie.
"I will grant you three wishes," said the Genie. "But there's a catch."
"What catch?" he asked.
The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every politician in the world will receive double what you asked for."
"Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.
"What is your first wish?" asked the Genie.
"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari," he said.
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
"Now, every politician in the world has two Ferraris," said the genie. "Next wish?"
"I'd love a million dollars," replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now, every politician in the world has two million dollars," said the genie.
"Well, that's okay, as long as I've more...