Wishes Jokes

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the more...

An elderly lady was rocking on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared before her and offered to grant her three wishes.
"Well," said the woman, "I really would like to be rich."
*POOF* Her rocking chair turned to solid gold.
"I sure wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess," she said.
*POOF* She was immediately turned into a beautiful young princess with a stunning crown of jewels.
"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother, just as the old woman's cat wandered across the porch in front of them. "Ohh," the woman exclaimed, "Could you possibly turn my cat into a handsome young prince?"
*POOF* Standing before her was a young man far more handsome than anyone could ever imagine.
She stared at him in awe, totally smitten. As he moved towards her, she could feel her knees weaken. He bent down, lightly brushed his lips across her ear and whispered, more...

These three guys - an American, Chinese, and German - were
shipwrecked on a desert island. The German found this smokey bottle.
So he brought it back to the other two and they all opened it togther
(the German was a really nice guy). Well, low and behold, a GENIE
POPPED OUT! The genie granted them each one wish, and of course all
three wanted to be back home. So the genie said he would grant them
their wishes.
"But first, you must all do me a favor. Mr. American - I want you
to built me a restaurant here. Mr. German - you will make the kitchen
for this restaurant. Mr. Chinaman - you will get the supplies for the
restaurant. I have a hot date waiting for me in Bagdad, so I have to
go. But I will return in ONE MONTH. At that time, if you satisfied my
requirements, I will grant your wishes."
So for one month, the three men American and German toiled while
the Oriental kinda lazed around and gave a helping hand to the more...

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?"
"I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3. 40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer,"
The ostrich says "I'll have the same."
Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender.
"Well, it's close to last orders, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man.
"Same for me" says the ostrich.
"That will be $7. 20" says the bartender.
Once again the man pulls more...

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.

"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream. So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes." So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss.

POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman. She said, "You now have 3 wishes." I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger."

She nodded, whispered a spell, more...