"Elderly Lady's Three Wishes" joke
An elderly lady was rocking on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared before her and offered to grant her three wishes.
"Well," said the woman, "I really would like to be rich."
*POOF* Her rocking chair turned to solid gold.
"I sure wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess," she said.
*POOF* She was immediately turned into a beautiful young princess with a stunning crown of jewels.
"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother, just as the old woman's cat wandered across the porch in front of them. "Ohh," the woman exclaimed, "Could you possibly turn my cat into a handsome young prince?"
*POOF* Standing before her was a young man far more handsome than anyone could ever imagine.
She stared at him in awe, totally smitten. As he moved towards her, she could feel her knees weaken. He bent down, lightly brushed his lips across her ear and whispered, "I'll bet you're sorry you had me neutured!"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!