Handsome Jokes

An elderly lady was rocking on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared before her and offered to grant her three wishes.
"Well," said the woman, "I really would like to be rich."
*POOF* Her rocking chair turned to solid gold.
"I sure wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess," she said.
*POOF* She was immediately turned into a beautiful young princess with a stunning crown of jewels.
"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother, just as the old woman's cat wandered across the porch in front of them. "Ohh," the woman exclaimed, "Could you possibly turn my cat into a handsome young prince?"
*POOF* Standing before her was a young man far more handsome than anyone could ever imagine.
She stared at him in awe, totally smitten. As he moved towards her, she could feel her knees weaken. He bent down, lightly brushed his lips across her ear and whispered, more...

Teacher: Jimmy, use the word "handsome" in a sentence.
Jimmy: Handsome gum over will ya?
Teacher: No, no, that's not right. You have one more chance. Use the word "gladiator" in a sentence.
Jimmy: A monster ate my sister and I'm gladiator.

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works..."We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads:"All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome."Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.On the fourth more...

A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage.
The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket of the second row.
Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, "Follow me."
The usher leads the man down to the second row and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.
"Thanks so much," says the theatergoer, more...

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them "The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent, sentence can go out with me."
The sturdy, muscular, black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever"
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said, "How well can you do?"
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," more...