Poor Jokes / Recent Jokes
I like venison as much as the next guy...as long as the next guy isn't Bryan James Hathaway of Wisconsin. Brian is accused of having sex with a deer and impersonating Jimmy Fallon.
Hathaway's lawyer is trying to get his client off (okay, perhaps a poor choice of words) on the technicality that the deer was dead at the time. The Wisconsin statute prohibits "sexual gratification with an animal" but, the lawyer argues, "animal" implies that the creature must be a living organism.
I'm not quite sure how you roll out of bed and look at yourself in the mirror every day as a lawyer, anyway, but I have to think this wasn't what this guy planned on when he took the LSATs. Mom and Dad must be so proud.
The lawyer is attempting to plea bargain the charge down from "sexual gratifcation with an animal" to being "bat-shit crazy in the first degree."
Prosecutors are holding firm that any plea agreement must include a clause more...
A poor surgeon hurts 1 person at a time. A poor teacher hurts 130.
Mum, are the neighbours very poor people?
I don't think so, Raj. Why do you ask?
Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin.
Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they only screw the poor.
Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?
A: (Dole) When I was a poor boy growing up in Kansas we didn't have light bulbs. Now I have the housekeeper do it.
Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?
A: (DuPont) Light bulbs need to be changed? Gosh. I guess the servants have always taken care of that... With a DuPont administration, the power of the free market will be unleashed to produce light bulbs that never need changing.
Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?
A: (Robertson) Oh, Lord, with thy divine illumination, heal this light bulb!
Q: How many Republican Presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to change a lightbulb?
A: (Kemp) It's morning in America! Why more...
If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. I was born intelligent
- education ruined me. A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say.......... Practice makes perfect.....
But nobody's perfect......
so why practice? If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for? Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. How come "abbreviated" is such a long word? Money is not everything.
There's Mastercard & Visa.
One should love animals.
They are so tasty. Save water.
Shower with your girl friend. Love thy neighbor.
But don't get caught. Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not more...
If you liked the Hunchback, you'll love these Disney versions...
The Inferno by Dante Aligheri
The poet Dante (the voice of Bruce Willis) is led by his friend
Virgil (the voice of Anthony Quinn) on a magical trip
underground to the land of "Heck." Among the delightful
creatures they visit are the lovebirds Paolo and Francesca (the
voices of Andrew Dice Clay and Rosie O'Donnell), the Crying
Trees (the band Nirvana), and the Five Singing Little Devils
(the Jacksons).
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Pigs, chickens, horses - all the familiar barnyard crowd - are
the heroes of this charming celebration of teamwork and
diversity. The poor animals, having suffered for years on a
failing farm under the tyranny of the cruel farmer Jones (Robert
Goulet), are suddenly liberated when Jones trips and falls down
a well. Though things are chaotic at first, the kindly young pigs
Snowball (Michael J. Fox) and Napoleon (Eddie more...