"Not tonight, Bambi ...I Have a Headache" joke
I like venison as much as the next guy...as long as the next guy isn't Bryan James Hathaway of Wisconsin. Brian is accused of having sex with a deer and impersonating Jimmy Fallon.
Hathaway's lawyer is trying to get his client off (okay, perhaps a poor choice of words) on the technicality that the deer was dead at the time. The Wisconsin statute prohibits "sexual gratification with an animal" but, the lawyer argues, "animal" implies that the creature must be a living organism.
I'm not quite sure how you roll out of bed and look at yourself in the mirror every day as a lawyer, anyway, but I have to think this wasn't what this guy planned on when he took the LSATs. Mom and Dad must be so proud.
The lawyer is attempting to plea bargain the charge down from "sexual gratifcation with an animal" to being "bat-shit crazy in the first degree."
Prosecutors are holding firm that any plea agreement must include a clause the prohibits the defendant from coming (another poor choice of words) within 500 yards of the fresh, hot chicken-to-go section of the local supermarket.
I don't want to say Dick Wolf is running out of story lines, but he's reportedly contacted Hathaway for the rights to use his story on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
Not enough votes...