Pope Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sometimes advertisers get it all wrong. Here are some funny examples of advertising campaigns that ended up being entirely inappropriate.
1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish,
where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea".
2. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron,
into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for
manure. Not too many people had a use for
the "manure stick".
3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).
4. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation"
translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.
5. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the more...

One day the Pope is coming to America in his
Limo and he said to the driver, 'Why don't you
let me drive for once.'
The driver thinks to him self, 'Well I can't say
no to this guy, he's the pope.' So the driver
pulls over and they change places. The Pope was
having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging
cars. After a while the driver taps on the window
and tells the Pope, 'slow down a bit, you might
get pulled over.'
The Pope says, 'ahhh, don't worry about it, I'm
the Pope.' So he rolls up the window and
continues to drive very fast. After a few moments
he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car and
the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop
sees the Pope and says, 'oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can
you hold on a minute.'
The Pope says, 'sure'
The cop walks back to his car and radios back to
the station. He says, 'guys I just pulled over
some one really important.'
They ask who, 'The more...

The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tuti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.

A women's rights group approached the Pope the next day. They noticed that the Pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind. The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tuti Homini, et Tuti Femini" - Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.

The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope. They said that they noticed that he blessed man kind and woman kind, and asked if he could also bless gay people. The Pope said, "Sure".

The next day, the Pope concluded his sermon with,. . . . . "Tuti Homeni, et Tuti Femini, et Tuti Fruiti."

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there?
It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there? ”
“We’re taking TWA, ” was the reply. “We got a great rate! ”
“TWA? ” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome? ”
“We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott. ”
“That dump! That’s the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they’re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there? ”
“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope. ”
“That’s rich, ” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck more...

A man was sitting next to the Pope on a cross-country flight. The Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. He turned to the man and asked "Do you know a four-letter word for 'woman' that ends in U-N-T?"
The man thought for a minute and said "Aunt."
"Oh yes, of course," the Pope replied. "Do you have an eraser?"

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of the 9/11 terror attacks, confessed at a U.S. military hearing to that crime and a far-reaching list of nearly 30 others, including planned attacks on the Empire State Building and the attempted assassination of Pope John Paul II.

Mohammed also admitted responsibility for the killing of Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Brown, the "disposal" of Jimmy Hoffa, the Lindbergh Baby kidnapping and The Great Train Robbery of 1903.

Pope Dies The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script. All of a sudden there is a scream in the library. The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An' R'! They left out the' R'." God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter' R'. .. the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"