Post Jokes / Recent Jokes

The horses in the race are:
1. Passionate Lady
2. Clean Sheets
3. Bare Belly
4. Thighs
5. Silk Panties
6. Big Johnson
7. Conscience
8. Heavy Bosom
9. Jockey Shorts
10. Merry Cherry
At the post: Aaaaaand they're off !!! Conscience is left behind at
the post. Jockey Shorts and Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is
being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big
Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the halfway mark: It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs opens up and
Big Johnson is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against
Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At the stretch: Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is
making the final drive. Passionate Lady is coming.
At the finish: It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got !!!...and
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson more...

The horses in the race...
Passionate Lady
Clean Sheets
Bare Belly
Thighs
Silk Panties
Big Johnson
Conscience
Heavy Bosom
Jockey Shorts
Merry Cherry
At the Post...
They're off! Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Johnson in a very tight spot.
At the Halfway Mark...
It's Bare Belly on top.
Thighs opens up and Big Johnson is pressed in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly.
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Johnson.
At the Stretch...
Merry Cherry cracks under the strain. Big Johnson is making a final drive.
Passionate Lady is coming.
At the Finish...
It's Big Johnson giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Johnson has to offer.
It more...

An official staff visit by LTG Claus is expected at this post on 25 Dec. The following directives govern activities of all Army personnel during the visit.
Not a creature will stir without permission. This includes warrant officers and mice. Soldiers may obtain special stirring permits for necessary administrative action through the Battalion S-1. Officer stirring permits must be obtained through the Deputy, Post Plans and Policy Office.
All personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap NLT 2200 hours, 24 December. Uniform for the nap will be; Pajamas, Cotton, Light Weight, General Purpose, OG, and Cap, BDU woodland pattern, with ear flaps in the extended position. Equipment will be drawn from the supply room prior to 1900 hours. While at supply, all personnel will review their personal hand receipts and sign a Cash Collection Voucher, DD Form 1131, for all missing items. Remember, this is the "season of giving."
Personnel will utilize standard more...

A farmer is sitting in the local pub inebriated. A man comes in and asks the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk? ”
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.
Man: So what happened that is so horrible?
Farmer: Well if you must know, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I go the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked it over.
Man: That’s not so bad, what’s the big deal?
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain.
Man: So then what happened.
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left with some rope. Then I sat down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full she took her right leg and kicked it over.
Man: Again?
Farmer: Something’s ya just can’t explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right.
Man: So then what did you do?
Farmer: I sat back more...

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over
them.His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”“But why?” asks the man.“I'm a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

ONE maatra (accent) comment on the letter box of the Rajendra Nagar Post Office was spotted. The maatra' oo' was added to the signboard reading daak ghar (post office) making it into daakoo ghar-den of robbers.

The N.Y. Post apologized for a cartoon that appeared to compare Barack Obama to a chimpanzee. I don't understand all the fuss. This isn't the first time a President has been depicted as an animal. For eight years George Bush was portrayed as a jackass.