Post Jokes / Recent Jokes

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 73 year-old Texas rancher, whose hand had been caught in a gate while working cattle, a doctor and the old man were talking about George W. Bush being in the White House.
The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle.'" Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.
The old man said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."
The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor, stupid bastard get down."

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle) a doctor and the old man were discussing President Bush's health care reform ideas. The old man said "Well, ya know, G.W. Bush is a post turtle".
So, not knowing what he meant, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.
The old man said "When you're driving down a country road, and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing down."

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90 year old man (he got his hand caught in a gate while working his cattle)a doctor and the old man were discussing Bush's health care reform ideas. The old man said "Well, ya know, old Bush is a post turtle".So, not knowing what he meant the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was. And he said "When your driving down a country road, and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing down."

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was doing as President.
The old man said, "Ya know, Bush is a post turtle."
Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.
He said, "Did you ever drive down a country road and come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing down. That's a post turtle."

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 90-year-old man, the doctor asked his patient how he thought George W. Bush was doing as President.The old man said, "Ya know, Bush is a post turtle." Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was.He said, "Did you ever drive down a country road and come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing down. That's a post turtle."

The Washington Post asked readers for alternate meanings for various words. Readers had these suggestions:

Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Carcinoma (n.) a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent

Flabbergasted (adj) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.

Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.) an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Bustard (n.) a very rude Metrobus driver.

Coffee (n.) a person who is coughed upon.

Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude more...

What was yesterday's Washington Post headline?
Bush finally defeats Clinton.