Post Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Exactly five hundred.
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.
7 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently or to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
17 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
21 to flame the spell checkers.
49 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
20 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
32 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt. lite. bulb.
69 to demand that cross posting to alt. grammar, alt. spelling and alt. punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
41 to defend the posting to this list saying that we more...
What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain! What's the difference between an elephant and a post box? I don't know! Well I'm not asking you to post my letters! What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil? One rarely bites and the other barely writes! How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse? Try picking them up! What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper? You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant! What's the difference between an elephant and a banana? Have you ever tried to peel an elephant? What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant? About 3,000 miles! What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry? A gooseberry is green!
An Irishman went into a post office to see if there were any letters for him. "I'll see, sir," said the clerk. "What is your name?" "You're having me on now because I'm Irish," said the Irishman. "Won't you see the name on the envelope?"
What do you call four sheep tied to a post in Cardiff (Wales)? A leisure centre.
Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post?
A: A goal post that can`t march.
Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he`ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.
Q: What do you get when you cross a French Horn player and a goalpost?
A: A goalpost that can`t march.
Q: How do you make a trombone sound like a French horn?
A: Put your hand in the bell and miss a lot of notes.
Q: How do horn players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. I did that piece in junior high."
Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he`ll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.
Q: How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?
A: Have them miss every other note.
Q: What is the difference between a French horn more...
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks him, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk? ”
Farmer: Some things you just can’t explain. Man: So what happened that’s so horrible?
Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket. Some things you just can’t explain. Man: Ok, but that’s not so bad.
Man: So what happened then? Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left. Man: and then? Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket. Some things you just can’t explain.
Man: So, what did you do then? Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right. I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over more...
An elderly man and his doctor were having a discussion concerning Bush's health care reform ideas.
"You know," said the elderly man, "old Bush is a post turtle."
Not understanding what he meant, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
"When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence with a turtle balanced on top, well, that's a post turtle," explained the old man.
"You know darn well he didn't get there by himself," continued the old man, "he sure doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor thing get down."